How Far Can a Giant Punt a Dwarf

How far can a giant punt (kick) a dwarf?   It's got to come up sometime. Based on a host of calculations, distances a football and soccer ball can be kicked, brutal physics, and a whole lot of assumptions re mass along with an old Dragon magazine article on giant sizes I've calculated the following table:

How Far Can A Giant Punt …
	Projectile
Kicker	Gnome*	Halfling	Elf	Dwarf	Human
Ogre	1d10’ (5)	1d8’ (4)	1d6’ (3)	1d4’ (2)	1d3’ (2)
Hill Giant	3d12’ (18)	3d10’ (15)	3d8’ (12)	3d6’ (9)	2d6’ (6)
Stone Giant	9d12’ (54)	9d10’ (45)	9d8’ (36)	9d6’ (27)	6d6’  (18)
Fire Giant	11d12’ (66)	11d10’ (55)	11d8’ (44)	11d6’ (33)	7d6’ (21)
Frost Giant	18d12’  (108)	18d10’ (90)	18d8’ (72)	18d6’ (54)	12d6’ (36)
Cloud Giant	30d12’ (180)	30d10’ (150)	30d8’ (120)	30d6’ (90)	20d6’ (60)
Storm Giant	44d12’  (264)	44d10’ (220)	44d8’ (132)	44d6’ (132)	30d6’ (90)
Titan	50d12’ (300)	50d10’ (250)	50d8’ (200)	50d6 (150)	33d6’ (99)

*I prefer Gnomes to be tinier than Halflings, reverse if you disagree. The average distance listed in the parenthesis above is weighted low to punish DMs and players that don't want to roll all those dice.

Mummer's Joust

This raucous and violent farce has been a part of life in the shady boulevards and beggar’s courts for at least a century. At it’s highest it’s an outrageous pantomime affair between mummers troupes put forth by the low guilds aping the contests of chivalry at it’s lowest it’s a sporting brawl between neighborhoods or tavern gangs.

The Mummers Joust is held in a square, empty lot, or back alley court. There will typically only be two teams (sometimes with classical rivalries) and each team will consist of 4 to 12 men of equal number on each team that will bear carry a rider seated upon a barrel fastened to staves (held by the aforementioned bearers). The rider is often costumed as a knight is not lucky enough to be wearing a set of second hand antique armor; bearers are typically unarmored but clever ones will wear a helmet of some sort and good thick gloves. Only the rider (sometimes called the Mum-ritter) is armed and that will typically be with a staff, a wooden sword, a broomstick, a baldder filled with sad or a sack of rocks. The goal is to be the first team to parade about the field a half dozen times without the rider falling off his steed (the barrel held aloft). 

The only restrictions in completion of the half dozens circles of the jousting “field” are the field must be crossed through the middle at least 3 times by each ride team. Riders may strike each other and the bearers of the opposing teams. Bearers may strike each other with their hands but if a bearer releases both hands from a stave he is required to exit the field (he is typically allowed parting blows against the opposite team but grabbing another rider or bearer while jettisoned is not sporting).

While in spirit this is nominally a contest it can be a contest that has an outcome that has already been decided upon by the hosting each troupe but even them there is a small chance pride of bearers and riders will overwhelm compliance with the wishes of their sponsors. Gambling is still seen in these events but it is often towards the lower end as many recognize likely collusion but to do speak of it. When a more obvious rivalry comes to bear the outcome is less certain and gambling will leap to whatever foolish heights onlookers desire.

Like many public contests the Mummer's Joust offers a distraction to cover larceny and cutpurses and pick pockets will surely try to ply their trade intermingled with the crowd if they do not fear the wrath of the sponsors. The distraction will of course open chance for trespass and other crimes in the periphery of the Mummer's Joust.

While the Mummer's Joust is far less dangerous than an chivalric joust it is still an affair with the potential for violence and injury. It's unlikely by not impossible for a rider or bearer to suffer broken bones, disability, or even (unluckily) death. Injuries suffered in a Mummer's Joust are not considered an appropriate situation for private recourse and open vendetta or duels would be frowned upon and even considered criminal. A death in a Mummer's Joust that isn't sanctioned by town officials (or high guild) may be considered a crime by some but evidence is not offered up as a point of honor among witnesses and participants in the joust as everyone in the contest has nominally entered it voluntarily.

Alignments of the Alleys and Gutters

Alignment- how one gets on with others in the alleys,gutters, and backrooms as well as in brightly lit places and public squares. Should a player stray form their professed alignment of a PC they will not suffer any loss beyond the reaction of cronies and other NPC (and this can be catastrophic as contacts, family and business associates turn their back on the wayward).

Loyal (L)- A loyal being is ardent, steadfast, dutiful and dependable. A loyal man will keep his mouth shut when needed and hold to a code of honor. Loyal folk can be relied upon to stick to agreements even with traditional enemies as long as conditions hold and decorum preserved.

Natural(N)- Ordinary folk hold to simple natural tuths. They are generally self-serving in their motives but not beyond holding to a code of honor that keeps association with group as important as themselves. It’s natural to defend one’s family and put your neck out for them, it’s odd to leap to the defense of a foreign stranger being set upon by ruffians in a dark alley at night. 

Corrupt(C) – A corrupt being is crooked, fraudulent and untrustworthy. These two-faced bent and based backstabbers can rarely be trusted and only pretend to hold to a code of honor to find advantage over others.

It should be noted in this arrangement of alignments good and evil are cosmic forces beyond the demands of normal life and while they are indeed true forces how one binds themselves too them will still be expressed by following of professed alignment. Not all Loyal folk are on the same team, not all Natural folk can be reiled upon to do the same thing, and not all Corrupt folk are entirely wicked.