Saturday, November 9, 2013

Why are THEY here?

Why are the saucer-men here? How do they feel about humanity? A few of the descriptions on my last post and those on elfmaids and octopi cover motivation and attitudes of various cosmic visitors and saucer-men but there's always room for more. Roll a d20 on the following table if all you want to do is find out how they feel about humanity, roll 1d30+20 for the plans/motivations alone, or just roll 1d50.

Saucer-men feelings and motivations.

1.      Humans? They don’t care about humans it’s all about the cows.
2.      Humans are cute, kinda-like squirrels.
3.      Humans would make good pets.
4.      A few humans will need to be preserved in zoos.
5.      Humans would make a nice servitor race with a few modifications.
6.      Humans are vermin.
7.      Humans were seeded on this world years ago, things are progressing according to plans.
8.      Our ancestors were seeded on this planet long ago, something went wrong and they evolved into humans.
9.      Humans are good served on toast.
10.   Substantial portions of human brains are ideal components in psychotronic computers, the rest of the tissues really aren’t worth saving.
11.   The human race shall be put on trial.
12.   Humans are residents of a penal colony.
13.   Humans are great petri-dishes.
14.   Humans must be saved from their corrupt governments.
15.   Humans are almost ready to join the Cosmic Assembly.
16.   Humans are amusing. Interstellar frat-boys come one by all the time to “probe” us and conduct other such pranks.
17.   Humans are dangerous barbarians.
18.   Humans need to be enlightened.
19.   Humanity is in the way, the greater needs of the galactic imperium/hyper culture/cosmic assembly must come first.
20.   Humans? What are they? They didn’t even know there were any sentiments on the planet.
21.   They need our women.
22.   They need our men.
23.   Humans are awful parents, the aliens are here to save all the children.
24.   Humans will buy it, they buy all sorts of junk. The aliens are here to market shoddy off-world goods to us.
25.   We are ripe for the harvest.
26.   You and millions of fellow humans have been selected to serve in the armed forces of the Galactic Confederacy, congratulations.
27.   The aliens are here for our water.
28.   The aliens are here for our atmosphere.
29.   The aliens are here for our minerals.
30.   The aliens are here to mine the moon.
31.   The aliens will be taking the moon, humanity doesn’t need it anymore.
32.   The aliens have returned home and are upset to see the human race occupying the planet.
33.   The planet is a good vacation spot.
34.   The planet has been sold, time for the human race to move out.
35.   The aliens want to assemble an orbital facility, nothing for humanity to concern themselves with.
36.   The aliens want to build an extensive space-port on the surface.
37.   The aliens want to use the planet as a manufacturing facility, the process it a little too dangerous for their home world.
38.   The aliens want to share the planet with us.
39.   The aliens crashed here by accident.
40.   The aliens are ambassadors for the Cosmic Assembely/Galactic imperium/Unions of Worlds…
41.   The aliens are here hand out pamphlets and tell us about the great hyperspace spaghetti monster.
42.   The aliens are here to stay, they only need a little bit of property.
43.   The aliens are here to stay humanity will be allowed to remain in a few reservations.
44.   Invasion! Surprise the aliens are here to take over the whole planet!
45.   Humanity doesn’t need the sun anymore, does it?
46.   Humanity is being relocated to a few other choice worlds.
47.   The aliens are space Vikings, humanity is soft and ripe for the plunder.
48.   The aliens are con-men, whatever they are up to is part of an intergalactic scam.(roll again?)
49.   The aliens want to use earth as a testing-ground for various weapons systems.
50.   Aliens, those aren’t aliens they are us from the far far future.

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